K.O.
Some fantastic knockouts:
This type of TKO is happening more and more, it seems:
Here’s proof (another leg break).
Classic.
Lastly, I had to put this Forrest Griffin video in. Basically, the Once I Was a Champion series is about the late Evan Tanner. But put Griffin in there and it’s utter comedy.
Jesus kicks ass
MMA is, apparently, the new WWJD for christian enthusiasts:
“Father, we thank you for tonight,” he said. “We pray that we will be a representation of you.”
An hour later, a member of his flock who had bowed his head was now unleashing a torrent of blows on an opponent, and Mr. Renken was offering guidance that was not exactly prayerful.
“Hard punches!” he shouted from the sidelines of a martial arts event called Cage Assault. “Finish the fight! To the head! To the head!”
Reason for dying.
I am not the type of man to mess with.
I have trained extensively in Muay Thai kickboxing for the last 15 years under Guru Surachai and Kru Mark Dellagrotte. Before moving to Uganda, where I learned how to streetfight out of necessity, I trained with Renzo Gracie in NYC. I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and am proficient with a variety of killing tools, including stick, machete, and 2×4 (”dos manos” escrima). Oh, did I mention I can handle an AK-47 with relative ease?
I usually keep my martial arts training a secret, since “dangerous” is not something I like being associated with (I do, after all, make balloon animals for kids in my spare time); however, something happened today that’s made me re-evaluate that.
You see, I had a lab meeting today. At this lab meeting, where I drank champagne and had ONE chocolate-covered biscuit, I started to get sick (which sucks, because any lab meeting where champagne is served is worth attending). Naturally, when I left the lab meeting, I decided to go to the UCL toilet to have a bit of alone time… if only to reflect on why I needed to eat that sole biscuit.
After working long days at Fuji Bank, where I was an intern once upon a time, I learned to take catnaps on the toilet, and this evening, post-biscuit and all, seemed like a particularly good time for a momentary rest.
So, I’m in the toilet, paper barrier over seat in place, resting comfortably, when, suddenly, someone crashes against the door in front of me, which annoyed me a bit, momentarily, the way clean laundry taken out and thrown down on a dirty floor annoys its owner. But what could I do, really? I let it go…
A couple of minutes later, someone starts kicking my door. I can see the shadow of his legs moving in the space underneath. It’s a rapid scissor motion, as if he were a miniature Rockette.
I ignore the first barrage, but upon the second, the kicker calls out to me.
“What!” I answer.
“COME OUT, NOW! Right this minute!” he scowls back.
“Here comes the party,” I think to myself.
I pull up my jeans and button the top button around my waist. Belt still undone, I open the door so the yelling can begin.
“What did you chuck over at me?” he growls, repeatedly.
“I didn’t throw anything,” I reply, repeatedly.
I know a fight is brewing, so I start calculating. His face is just far enough in the stall for me to smash it with the open door. (Why he would move in towards a pot full of shit is beyond me.) So I do. And miss.
I miss spectacularly; the deafening slam causes the door to break along with all its metallic trimming, confusing everyone in the crowded bathroom for a few moments — precisely enough time to adjust my jeans above my waist.
With jeans properly buttoned, I open the door… and approach.
By now, he has picked up a metal rod that has broken off from the door, and is standing with knees bent, wild-eyed, threatening to kill me. I stand in front of him, confident, knowing I have been hit by much larger, heavier things.
Then, hilariously, the guy realizes that he can’t possibly win, so he drops the rod and walks out of the bathroom, mumbling something under his breath.
“Incredible. A hapless imbecile and yet, so smart,” I think.
To celebrate Uganda’s lack of foresight in attempting to pass legislation against homosexuals, I would like to make a public announcement: from here on out, if you threaten me or those I care for, you must be prepared for the consequences. I have a skill-set reserved only for specialized military personnel — i.e., people who pay the bills by killing other people. Thus, if you threaten me with a weapon, I will assume I am in a life-threatening situation, where anything goes. So, THINK AHEAD OF TIME. Please. Especially when I’m on the toilet and I’m thinking of wiping my ass on your broken face. (Note: Christian asserts ending a fight this way is gay. Adam and I, however, believe there’s a certain something to wiping your ass on your opponent’s face in victory. We have all agreed to settle upon a final answer whenever someone decides to threaten me in a bathroom again.)
American Ju-Jitsu
Eddie Bravo is one of the few who are quietly pioneering a new American martial art. Known generally as MMA, I’m reluctant to dismiss Bravo as simply a great mixed martial artist. Instead, he is a brilliant artisan, creating a new, uniquely American Ju-Jitsu. But somehow he is more; he’s an artist as well, expressing something deep and profound through his craft: that the sum of their parts amounts to more than the whole.
You can see this here, in this video, as Bravo reveals variations on a theme, showing us how the rubber guard is more than just a trick, more than just a system; rather, it’s a new way of thinking.
Manhood
When I was in high school, my graduating class planned a Caribbean trip for spring break. Much as I wanted to go and look at ta-tas all week, I chose instead to go to a Dan Inosanto training camp in upstate NY.
The camp was held at Wells College, an all-girls school a few miles north of Cornell, in Aurora, by the lake. Part of the reason I decided to do the camp was because I was seeing a girl at the time (woman? she was 26 and a fashion designer) and didn’t want to get into trouble. Turns out, though, that Wells College sits right on the shore and the students like to strip down into tiny bikinis — sometimes nothing at all — before jumping in. Obviously, I had a great time. (And yes, the trouble was worth it.)
Training with Dan is akin to meeting living history. He’s a martial arts legend in his own right, but he’s best known as Bruce Lee’s protege. Dan, then, does two things during his seminars: teach thousands of obscure moves you’ll never remember and talk about Bruce Lee.
Most people don’t understand Lee’s influence in the martial arts. He wasn’t just a good fighter; Bruce Lee redefined martial arts. When we look at today’s top MMA fighters, we’re seeing Lee’s legacy — even top trainer Mark DellaGrotte trained in Lee’s Jeet Kune Do concepts.
My mind, too, was shaped by Lee’s deep insight.
What follows is an interview Bruce Lee did with Pierre Berton in 1971. Though it took place nearly 40 years ago, Lee’s concepts and words are fresh; he would be an internet sensation if the interview happened today.
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE
Bruce Lee was so compelling, so unique, I believe, because he embraced his being and expressed himself passionately, with attitude. This, to me, is the difference between man and child. Sometimes the only difference.
American Ju-Jitsu
It’s difficult to talk about the Rubber Guard with laymen, not only because it sounds like a prophylactic sex toy, but because no one understands the language: New York, Chill Dog, Douche Bag (and you have to love a move called the Douche Bag).
Eddie Bravo, wonderful innovator that he is, receives lots of criticism for his development of the Rubber, which I think is misdirected if not entirely wrong. There is little doubt that the American-driven study of Brazilian Ju-Jitsu and Shooto and Greco-Roman and other styles of wrestling is giving rise to a new type of martial art, a completely American style of groundwork resembling Ju-Jitsu–an American Ju-Jitsu–of which Bravo is clearly a pioneer.
I found these great Advanced Rubber Guard videos of Bravo talking about where the RG is going (notice how Bravo grabs the leg after sweeping Bollinger, his assistant, to put him into the spider–that’s indicative of the deep thinking Bravo’s put into this: you know the guy’s going to roll out of the armbar at some point, so why not grab the leg and prevent that?):
Here’s part 2, where Bravo does not demonstrate, but speaks about faith in technique: you can’t expect something to work–especially in a scenario where everything can go wrong–without faith. More importantly, he talks about the democratic nature of his style of Ju-Jitsu, of how anyone is able to contribute (so long as it is substantial and viable, naturally); a very American feature:
Here is the last part, where Bravo allows his student, Bollinger, to demonstrate a move on him (a move Bollinger invented, no less). This demonstration is not simply rare–few people have ever seen the Double Bagger–but suggests something significant is flourishing here. I remember watching Carson Daly on MTV years ago and hearing him say that one day the face of music would change, that there is a band tooling away in a garage–right now–with a sound so unique that it’s going to change the face of music. And, whatever you might think of his new gig, Daly was at the epicenter of pop music during his tenure at MTV; few were as qualified to speak about where and how a pop revolution would take place as Daly. Bravo and his RG, I believe, are tantamount to this hidden garage band. Here is some BJJ guy in California, tooling away at some Ju-Jitsu moves he likes, and will probably change the face of MMA forever. That’s American ingenuity.
Charles “Mask” Lewis Dies in Crash
Charles “Mask” Lewis, a co-founder of Tapout, died yesterday (Wednesday, March 11th, 2009) after crashing his Ferrari into a pole. Sadly, Lewis was the personality of Tapout, the over-sized persona that made the company so attractive to so many. He’ll be deeply missed in the MMA community.